We went to a Love and Logic course about a year ago, and though I totally loved the concept, I don't think it was something I was fully ready to enforce at the time. My parenting lately has had a little kick in the pants brought on by the reality that my children are getting older and are fully capable of being able to be pretty self reliant.
So, on Monday for FHE, we had a whole lesson on choice and consequences. I made a little bucket with choices they could make and asked them to tell me the consequence for not doing those things. They ranged from not making beds, to what if Daddy decided not to go to work, to me not cleaning the house, to them cheating on a test, and on and on. After we went over that, I then handed them a new chart that they could mark off all their chores and choices in a day and also add any that they might need to remind themselves about doing during the week.
I cannot say any of this has been perfect! Not even close! But taking myself out of being the one that stands around all day and night reminding them that to make their bed, and brush their teeth, do their homework, blah, blah, blahhhhhhh!!!!!!, it has completely enpowered me!!!! I get up, we have scriptures, and then I just start doing what I need to do around the house and ignore what they are doing! Some mornings, it has been extremely hard for me to hold my tongue! I have to keep saying to myself, "You need them to fail to learn for themselves", over and over again! In fact, Kamren has walked herself to school twice this week. One morning without even having her hair done(harder on me than her!). I always follow behind her, encouraging her that she is almost there, but I will not suffer thier consequences for them or with them anymore because I love them too much to not teach them self reliance.
When I found this picture, it kind of put things into perspective for me. We all have choices, and different paths in life to decide what exactly we want to do with ourselves. It is my job, on this Earth, to teach my children as much about making good choices for themselves as I can. I have watched so many things in our own extended families lead to paths none of us would ever want for our own children. I have decided that teaching them self reliance from an early age is imperative to them becoming responsible, functioning, accountable people. I feel that this is also what our Heavenly Father wants for all of us. He doesn't just put us here without any guidance or examples, he put us here with all the tools we need to succeed in our quest back to him, as long as we will follow the right path. For those times when we don't, we have repentance to get back on that path. I marvel at the shear magnitude of His plan. He thought of every detail, every possibility that we may face, and then made a path back to Him for our choices.
I know I am not perfect, in fact, I am also learning things about myself while teaching them. I have a very short temper and that is something I am working on everyday to make sure that I am staying even tempered with them, whichever choices they make. I do know that with love, every thing is easier. When I really and truly want what is best for my children, teaching them and letting them make mistakes is a lot easier because I know that they reward of them being able to make good choices for themselves is so great!!
